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In honor of the Gotham Newsstand site going live, we bring you these historic words from none other than President Abraham Lincoln…

Kim Kardashian is crazy. Oh yeah, by the way, Gotham Newsstand is cool. You want to know why? Because four score and seven years ago, I got an itch in my beard, and out fell a puzzle piece with a mysterious circle on it. There were the letters ‘GN’ engraved on this impossible piece of hand-carved wood. At first I took it to mean “GO NORTH,” in a patriotic reaffirmation of our national cause. Later, in a drunken stupor, Mary yelled, “The next person who touches my hooch is getting a smack in the face! Oh, and it’s not GO NORTH, it’s GOTHAM NEWSSTAND, DUMB ASS!”

I was slightly embarrassed, but found myself too dizzy off of the high gravity ale that I needed a nap. Upon waking I realized she was right. Gotham Newsstand is the best place to get comics in San Antonio, and hell, (should I go out on a balcony here?) it’s the best place in the south to get comics. Yeah. I said it.

We won’t get into how we got that quote from our dear late President. But suffice it to say he should be remembered for his better accomplishments. Thanks for visiting our new site! Make sure and subscribe to our newsletter!